?> this is annie | Monthly Archive | September
Archive | September, 2009

Pop quiz

28 Sep

Pop quiz

1. Which one of the following did not happen to Miss T. during the past four weeks?

  • a) Found lump in breast, had biopsy, turned out to be benign (whew)
  • b) Lost father
  • c) Lost boy
  • d) Fell off bicycle, narrowly missed being run over by light rail train, bloodied body and broke left foot (crutches!)
  • e) Won the lottery, received love letter from Robert Pattinson, bought swank apartment in the Marais

2. True or false? September 2009 is the worst month in recent, or even not-so-recent personal history.

  • True
  • False

Weird dream of the week, #47

27 Sep

Weird dream of the week, #47

I dreamed that I still worked at a job I hated, with the same person in charge of me. She kept giving me vague guidelines for finishing a project, and she expected me to work while mourning my father. “But we sent flowers,” she said.* This is true; it was a bouquet of black and white tulips. I had to drive a rental car, and I thought I was in a line for a car wash. Fortunately, I wasn’t, and I drove past a McDonald’s (thought about getting a meatless cheeseburger in case it was the last food for a while, decided against it) and to a toll booth. (more…)

The emperor of ice cream

25 Sep

The emperor of ice cream

At the nursing home, the aides would bring my father a tray with assorted soft foods — usually some sort of vegetable, chicken, dessert — and we would feed him as much as he would allow. Because he was stubborn, he’d occasionally refuse to eat more than a few spoonfuls of food, leaving me to wheedle him into having dinner. “Just one bite,” I’d say. “Then I won’t bother you about it anymore.” I got away with this because I am the baby of the family, and because I also acknowledged his weariness of the food. Though it was surprisingly pretty good, this was a man who loved chocolate malts and chicken strips and Mexican food. They don’t serve those foods in nursing homes. (more…)

Dog day afternoon

24 Sep

Work finished early, and I was a gloomy little cloud, so I stepped out into the sunny day for a walk. The air smelled like hot dogs, the expensive made-to-be-grilled kind rather than the wiggly Ball Parks that my grandmother used to boil. It wasn’t as bad as that sounds, but I would have enjoyed things more if they hadn’t been so meaty. (more…)

2.

20 Sep

2.

I’ve always known how I planned to eulogize my father. “He was an imperfect man,” I’d begin, and then I’d segue into a movingly bittersweet tribute to him. In my head, it was going to be meaningful and noble, the kind of thing that would leave people with deep philosophical thoughts about life and death. (Embarrassingly and selfishly enough, I also figured that I’d move through the speech tearlessly while switching on the waterworks in the crowd.) (more…)