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Tag Archives: miles

You can go home

27 Apr

…kind of.

I hadn’t been home since September, and I wasn’t home for 10 minutes before I walked out to the backyard and burst into tears. It’s strange how home — the place I spent my first 18 years, and significant moments of the ensuing 13 — can develop an unpleasant patina. Everything has a different weight.

For instance: The backyard is where I had a little zip line and Annie’s Roost, the treehouse Dad built for me. Both are gone now, and the yard isn’t as meticulously maintained as it once was. So I go there and remember, but I also see the absence of what used to be. I miss my father terribly. I am embarrassed to admit that a day hasn’t gone by without me crying about missing him, because then it seems like I’m a depressive. But if I can’t be sad about this, what can I be sad about?

I am just getting home from a night out with Jesse, JC, Miles, and (unexpectedly) Tim and John and Jimk. While I don’t miss certain aspects of Chicago (pollution, sprawl, noise) I miss my friends and family terribly. I miss walking into my old haunts to meet them and then running into other friends because this is where we go and have gone for 10 years. There is always a friend there. I don’t have that in SF, not even after almost three years.

One thing I’ve learned lately is that your old friends really are often the best ones, because they know all of your sullied parts and love you anyway. And vice versa. I am lucky to have them, and am equally grateful for newer friends who will be old ones in 10 years’ time.

Why I liked Bikini Kill

22 Nov

Miles has it right when he says HA HA HA HA to this bizarrely horrible band called Blood on the Dance Floor. Their awfulness makes their tour buddies Brokencyde seem like Nick Drake in comparison. If you do not feel old, fifteen seconds of their song “Well Suck Me” (not to be confused with their other dessert-themed jam, “Scream For My Ice Cream”) will change that. Like Miles, I’m kind of impressed by the band’s ability to piss me off, but it is so depressing to see scene kids — especially girls — lap up this misogynist assault against music. (more…)

The good, the bad, and the blind

30 Oct

The good, the bad, and the blind

The other night, Miles said something that, like so many of the things he’s said over the years, was direct and true. I’m too nice, he said. Initially I protested, and I whipped out a few tales that proved him wrong, but in a lot of ways he’s right. I genuinely want to believe the best about people, to trust in the truth of their words and to find goodness in their hearts. It isn’t my nature to assume the best — one of the things I first think when I see a man alone at night is, “If this guy forces himself on me, where do I run?*” — but I have a deep and desperate desire to have faith in people nonetheless. (more…)

Nostalgia for an age yet to come

23 Oct

Nostalgia for an age yet to come

Today I missed Chicago. Not the city per se, particularly because its temperature has already dipped below 40 degrees, but I miss how it felt to be part of a community. I want to walk to the Rainbo and randomly run into Jonathan Van Hotness. I want to know what Miles thinks of the Smith Westerns’ T-Rex-iness, especially considering his unparalleled Marc Bolan Halloween costume from years back. I miss witnessing Atom’s nervous energy at Atomix and the way Lake Michigan looks at sunset and bumping into Keara and hanging with Itha and Weeks. Those things and more. (more…)

Names for men

11 Apr

Names for men

Owlie and I nickname people. That in itself doesn’t seem too strange, but it is a bit dumb that even when we know these people, we refer to them by their code names. Additionally ridiculous: with the exception of one female, we do not code-name girls and women. Here is a partial list of this year’s nicknames.

diesel boy: more of a man, really, but this sounds better. has shaggy hair and really does look like he should be wearing overpriced denim. no relation to lame-o pop-punk band of same name.

tuxedo boy: wears tuxedos around town. is charming in an oddball way, like me, and disarmingly beautiful, unlike me.

pigpen: the tenant in our apartment who hasn’t moved his schtuff out. he is the biggest slob on the planet, with a nest full of hippy shit and uncleaned cat litter boxes.

the (un)happy little elf: boy who looks like an extra in lord of the rings; is misanthropic and hard to read.

gary sinise: big-time flirt who really does look like the actor. miles and max fischer have said that gary sinise looks like a tool. their words, not mine.

max fischer: our friend looks eerily like the star of rushmore. he is such a nice boy.

teach: crazy guy who danced on chic-a-go-go with us. he was a loud and nutty hip-hop type, waving his hands in the air like he just didn’t care. his accomplices in dancing were two or three pre-teenage boys who turned out to be his students. after the taping completed, teach removed his fubu and began talking with friends about that night’s town and country show.

foxy mcfoxerson: also mentioned here more than a few times. we are friends now, and that makes me happy. he is one of the few people aware of his nickname, and for a while he thought i had renamed him captain assclown. no, silly foxy! that was just a temporary thing.

whitelegs the pirate: i could never remember this kid’s name. all i could remember was that he attended a chic-a-go-go taping and had legs even whiter than mine. he rides a vespa, apparently.

edward norton tootie: owlie says he looks like her friend tootie; i say he looks like edward norton. this is really all i know of him.

tre cool: i have not actually met this gentleman, but owlie has. she says he really is tres cool.

rapscallion: i had a huge huge huge crush on him, but he kinda did what the next bloke did…

jfk/mr. president: takes me on a date in which we have a lovely time, says he’s glad we went out, and never calls again.

gramps: treats me as though i am twelve. regards me as his little sister, which is kind of sweet but also patronizing.

the fake evan: this is the guy who is on the rainbo calendars almost every year. he always looks a little bit like evan, what with the glasses and all, but he’s not! he’s the fake evan!