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Tag Archives: we get letters

May I suggest “My Own Movie” by Guyver-One?

9 Nov

Dear downstairs neighbors:

I know that you enjoy talking loudly about things such as your friend who “went to the swap meet wearing those tiny, shiny capri pants.” I also know that you think Catholics don’t just become Buddhists overnight. I know that you enjoy starting home improvement projects by hammering into your wall at five in the morning. I know all of these things because you guys are kind of loud. (more…)

Dear E.M. Forster:

21 Jun

Dear E.M. Forster,

I know everybody wants to have a catchphrase these days, a memorable “zinger,” if you will. Well, I’ve long taken yours to heart, reminding myself that when dealing with other people, one should strive to “only connect.”

Only connect. Simple enough advice. But to be honest, Mr. Forster, that is easier said than done. My attempts to connect often inexplicably fail. It’s not that the gentlemen don’t like me. No, they say I am funny and beautiful and kind. They say this right before they stand me up for a museum date, or pretend to not see me in a crowd, or abruptly switch from affection to apathy. Just between us girls, it’s made me feel kind of blue.

As you can imagine, it is often tempting to stay at home alone with a bag of Bugles and the DVD of Texas Rangers (have you seen this? Tom Skerritt is phenomenal). This “only connect” business is no small task, and I sometimes think that maybe your pal Sartre had the right idea about other people.

In the end, though, maybe both of you can be right. Maybe you mean that the important part isn’t the connection, but having an open mind and gentle heart. Or who knows, maybe you just made the whole thing up as a potential slogan for a wireless telephone company. Either way, I’ll someday live in fragments no more. I’ll send you a postcard when I get there.